whoa, this is really gonna happen

i'd nearly forgotten about this blogy-blog! and then i remembered. so never fear. i looked back over some older posts and thought, "hey, i was supposed to have a theatre by now!" oh, silly 26 year old me. the years have made we wiser however i still haven't DONE anything. let's change that. it's time to just pick a damn show and do it. throw the money into the wind and know that what you do will be pretty good. if not damn good.

the thing that sucks is the fear. i hate the fear. loathe it, really. it's the excuse that i keep gripping onto. i need to let that go and start creating. and now.

i met with my friend Samantha the other day and we had a wine soaked blast listening to musicals. tuesdays are now theatre days. from here forward. this should be good :)

has it really been almost a year?

apparently, it has!

work is wearing on me. it makes it hard to be motivated. i have also recently been questioning my abilities. i have my own little vampires. it's such a huge undertaking and i fear i have such little experience. but then i think about work again. and i read the few posts i've completed on this slow starting journey and somewhere along the way i realize that i have to do this. i need more art in my life.

oh yes. that's right. i'm a sewing machine...

less than 11 weeks and i'll be a card carrying master of management for nonprofit agencies. except i don't get a card. i'm also learning how to sew. lets just say, i won't quit my day job yet. a pair of pants went from too loose to quite snug. but at least my seams aren't super jagged.

i feel like i have some amazing ideas and i want to get them all out on the table. too bad they all take so long to polish and refine. i guess it's better to have more projects than not enough.

food for thought

it's been almost six months. i have been busy. finally taking a few courses that matter and now being at the end of my program, i, of course, feel insecure and unprepared to undertake such an ambitious endeavour. obviously my first thought was, "keep going to school, then. get an mfa." perfect. except more school? blarg.

THEN i found this article. here's a quote:

What I am suggesting is moving to a small town with low real estate prices, renting a storefront, gathering a company of actors, pooling your money, and doing show after show without expectation of making money at all. Be sure you keep a detailed journal in which, after each rehearsal, you write down what you did, what worked, what didn't, and how you made your decisions -- this is going to be important for the second part of the learning experience. First, don't charge more than a couple bucks for tickets, because what the audience will be seeing is probably not going to be great. Serve them cookies for free in the lobby at intermission as a way of saying thanks. And then build into every show you do a post-performance drinking session with as many of the audience members as are willing to stay and get them to talk about what they saw, what they liked, when they were bored, when they were grabbed. Listen, don't argue. Probe, don't defend. Then go back to your journal and try to find those moments that the audience said worked and those that didn't and figure out what you did to get there. Get the whole company to do the same thing. There is no value to doing shows like this unless you debrief and consciously learn something from what you did.

And also, and as importantly as doing plays, read. Read books on directing, acting, design, playwriting, aesthetics, art history, philosophy, biography, cultural criticism - anything you can get your hands on that will broaden your references. And read plays -- at least one every other day.

wasn't this my whole idea in the beginning? grow some balls already.

more to come.

the flight

as sure as the day is long, time flies with an efficiency that can only be described as avian. it moves both silently and effortlessly through space, propelling us forward into more a mature and perhaps critical state of mind. we become more aware of consequence and seemingly imminent failure. as red wine will stain the pages of a book we must embrace the new imperfections on the each page and make adjustments accordingly.

the importance of art is becoming clear to me once again. for i had momentarily lost it. lost sight of its purpose and meaning and the sheer amount of sway it can have on individuals, communities, and the world. i am back in the theatre again amongst strangers with whom i know nothing and yet almost everything about. the next three weeks will be devoted to self growth and discovery. prior engagements will stand, however it will be about me. i see great things in the future. i can reach them. touch them. feel them. yet i have not yet figured out how to grasp on.

i feel a shift. change. adjustment. i've matured. i must remember the youthful naivety to bring fresh ideas to the table and use practical experience to breathe life into them.

it is time to create.

a lot to think about

i found out yesterday that one of my coworkers has an extremely rare form of cancer. currently it's in remission, however there is a 100% certainty that it will return. it has in every case that has been recorded. in the same spot. could be a year. could be ten. and then a small piece of the cancer will break off and travel through her blood stream and the cancer will spread to her lungs. inevitable.

the question is, how do you move forward with that news? what gives you the motivation to continue? where do you spend your time?

now is the time to be proactive. now is the time to create. you never know what life is going to throw at you. so get moving.

it shall be called...

the Gallery Theatre & Co.

i am currently taking a course on entrepreneurship of nonprofits. lo' and behold. ready made course project. brace yourselves, y'all, in 7 short weeks i will have a full fledged business plan for this bad boy.

turning point

i am in two courses this quarter. one of the courses is non-profit entrepreneurship. we will be crafting a business plan for a "new ventrue non-profit" over the next ten weeks. we will also be analyzing an established non-profit's business/management model (i will be looking at the minnesota opera) to compare and contrast to our own. i expect great things over the next ten weeks.

just stalling

i do not have a name picked out for this company yet. nor have i really been working on this with any sort of do-diligence. i missed a post about a week and a half ago. i did have a wonderful fantasy this week that i was discovered by a crazy rich donor. i have come to the conclusion that money is going to be the easy way out of this!

i have two textbooks that i would like to work my way through before i start my next courses in april. i'm hoping it gives me a little insight and a leg up. hopefully i will enjoy these courses more and will help me gain insight on how to run this thing.

i really need to make this magic happen.

questions and answers

this week i'm going to be speaking a the founder and director of the Rochester Aria Group. i hope to gain a little insight from someone in the business who has had success on a local level.