reflection

the holidays are in full swing and looking back, i believe that i started this blog last march. i have not come far. it's silly to me that this is so difficult. this year has presented a difficult plethora of deviation from the status quo, but the one thing that has remained constant is my love of art. it can still stir emotion, create elation or placate me in a matter of moments. i believe in the end this love will guide me on my life journey.

i went to a dear friend/colleague's "preview" doctoral recital last weekend. it was exciting and sad at the same time to hear her sing. she has come a long way in four years. i feel like i've lost my edge. i also ran into my old opera theatre director. it has always easy for me to slough off the suggestions of my family (ie grandma and mom, aunts. etc.) that i should get back into singing, but when someone that really knows what they're talking about tells you, "you shouldn't let that die," you think, "crap. what have i been doing with my life?"

perhaps it would be easier to get back into it if i could focus solely on singing and not have to deal with a mind-numbing eight hour work day every day. sadly, that eight hours a day is a means to a living (or at least food and booze).

i took a class over the summer that dealt with "the Power of Purpose." one thing that i did take away from it is that the fear, or even a slight apprehension, of failure is no reason to not try something, because there is no guarantee of success. ever. it is all what you take away from it in the end.

i've identified two legitimate elements that should help focus this process.

one. learning how to obtain financial backers.

two. making time in my schedule where i can be fully vested in this project.

i am being proactive in both of these areas. i will be taking a few classes over the next few months that deal with donors, volunteers and financial management for non-profits. i have also been trying to schmooze with some people that i see great potential in. build friendships. create excitement in the idea of furthering art. i have also set random reminders on my calendar to check up on my progress. each time a reminder goes off, i'll post something. this way we'll both know if i'm being a lazy ass or not.

on that note. it's time for a food coma. merry christmas to all. even if you don't celebrate, you can still enjoy a day off in honor of it.